find me

find me my allen ginsberg
beautiful women i can
sell my soul to
i don't need anything but you
i don't need anything but you

hate

I'd like to claim
that I don't want to add any more pain
or anger or jealousy
or rage
to this place
but at the end of the day I'm still me
and sometimes I hate.

The American Dream

This is the real American dream that they don't tell you about, I think - walking home from the convenience store with a case of beer and a dumb shit microwave burrito half hating my life but half in love with the wonder of the green glowing streetlights and the cloudy night sky and my feet still stepping forwards though I sometimes don't know why and alone but not lonely with my cricket friends and the late night traffic flowing slowly by...

even if you were the one,
i still wouldn't let you back in,
and i won't even miss you all that much

if i could pluck all the wildflowers from the entire earth

and weave them into a perfect crown

with help from all the little birds,

it still would not be worthy to adorn your head
it still would not be worthy to adorn your head

and if i could gather every splendid stone from the dirt

polish them and build a winding pathway

up the hill to your front porch,

it still would not be worthy to grace to soles of your feet
it still would not be worthy to grace to soles of your feet

and if i borrowed every elegant phrase ever written

and assembled them into

the eternal poem of praise,

i still would not be worthy to grasp your hand in mine
i still would not be worthy to grasp your hand in mine - 

so when you lie next to me i can see

the earth the air, the water and the universe

collapsed into your half-closed eyes,

i can trace all of history leading

down your spine to your hips,

i can see every extinct creature dying happily

in the evolution of your lips,

and i can see my soul rise out my mouth

and explode into a million pieces showering you

in an endless, perfect, diamond mist.

like an hourglass in a paint shaker

my universe unravels through the key hole

of your front door.

i know i'm not that good,

but i'm not that bad either

like a girl with crooked teeth

and it's not until she looks sad

that you realize she's beautiful