like an hourglass in a paint shaker

my universe unravels through the key hole

of your front door.

i know i'm not that good,

but i'm not that bad either

like a girl with crooked teeth

and it's not until she looks sad

that you realize she's beautiful

waking up

curled into tightest ball beneath too thin blankets autumn tent colorado

legs like original american factories, tired and rusting functioning at less than half capacity

sun wakes up freezing body through zipped-up-window trees

and i feel awful today

oh avalokiteshvara

the boddhisattva mahasattva

please teach me the way to practice

please teach me the way to no mind

no suffering and no cessation

please someone provide a still warm copy of the heart sutra

and the tibetan book of the dead

and read it over my dead mind still laying in bed

eleven thirty a m

land of shambhala

land where i live and breath and drink

and die each day under the watchful gaze

of the three yanas and marpa peak

land where i condemn trees to death

and condemn myself

to endless lives long gone by

and wandering mind from morning til night

sun frying my laid up naked body

wind chilling my skin sack bones

rain drenching my pine sap hands

but grandmothers please

do not weep for me

do not pray for me on worn out rosaries

do not mail letters that will never reach me

for i am lost in the mountains

and i have fled from the cities and towns

and i am waking up